Infertile Myrtle...

I suppose if I am telling the story of Cooper and how he came to be it would be prudent to start at the very beginning. B and I had tried for a baby for nearly two years and it was really taking its toll on me. It was so bad that I considered deactivating my Facebook multiple times in an time before that was a thing, because I couldn't stand to see the multitude of pregnancy announcements flooding my newsfeed almost daily. I'd have a good cry and then decide I didn't care and I was going to trade my sensible Altima in for a convertible. Then another announcement and another cry. To anyone who has never felt the ache of infertility this probably seems like madness. To those who have, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We tried two intrauterine inseminations with a local OB-GYN with no success and I was more than ready to bring out the big guns. We consulted a fertility specialist, and after reviewing our labs and history, he immediately recommended in Vitro Fertilization. The process was lengthy and more than a little stressful but not quite as bad as I had imagined. I was so scared though...what if this didn't work?! If it didn't, it felt like we might be facing the fact that we may never have a child of our own. 

The process began with me taking birth control (seems very counterproductive, huh!) so that my cycle would be on the schedule the doctor wanted. After what seemed like an eternity, next came the injections. Two per day into my stomach. Not fun obviously, but not the worst either. The medications were to stimulate my body to make more eggs than it typically would. During all of this I was driving an hour each way, three times per week for blood draws to check my hormone levels and ultrasounds to estimate how many eggs I might have. Finally it was time for egg retrieval. We made the hour long trip yet again.  I was put under sedation while the doctor used a syringe to aspirate the eggs from my ovaries. I woke up groggy from the medication but anxiously asking, "How many did we get?" I was so excited when B told me 12! The next day we found out that only 7 of the eggs were mature and then only 3 had fertilized. By in Vitro standards, that is not very many. All the same, we were hopeful. 3 little embryos and 3 chances at a baby. I received a phone call each morning the next two mornings to let me know how my little “embies” were growing. All 3 survived until day 3 when we were placing them into my uterus. We chose to put two back (we were totally okay with twins!) and save our last little guy (or gal, haha) for the future. The transfer was no worse than a pap smear and it was done. I was instructed to go to our local hospital for bloodwork in 11 days to determine if it worked. Of course I couldn't wait that long. I think I waited nearly a week and took a home pregnancy test one morning before work. Incredibly, there were two lines!


Can you see it?!?


After seeing one line for so long ( I should've bought stock in First Response), I couldn't believe it. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning. I hurried to our room to wake Brandon and show him. Considering it was 5am and you had to sorta tilt the test a certain way to really see the line, he didn't quite share my enthusiasm. Several tests and a few days later, we finally began to believe it but we were still incredibly scared.


Obviously, a little obsessed :)

After bloodwork confirmed it, we were headed to Lexington for our first ultrasound. I still marvel that B was able to put up with me for that hour drive. I was so anxious I was miserable! But when we got there and saw that little bean on ultrasound and that tiny little flutter that was the heartbeat...I can't describe that feeling. Pure bliss and magic...but still such fear that this couldn't be real. It was real though! Now going on one year later I look at my beautiful, sweet baby and I am still humbled that he was that tiny little blip on the ultrasound screen.
Around 8 weeks pregnant at our second visit

Yesterday @ just over 11 weeks old

Well...I have to start somewhere

I have toyed with the idea of starting a blog for some time now but I kept talking myself out of it. Would anyone even want to read it? Would I have time to write anything worth reading? But alas, here I am and those fears and worries did not win out. This blog will primarily be devoted to my super cute son, Cooper, and our journey as new parents and as parents of a child with Down syndrome. The title, Where It Begins, comes from a song lyric that says:
"If I ever write the story of my life, don't be surprised if you're where it begins..."
I'm sure many mothers and fathers would share my sentiments regarding my baby. He is beautiful, sweet, and precious and I just don't know what I did before him. Even though I had been on this earth for 26 years and a few days before his December 1, 2011 birth, it is easy to feel like my life truly began that morning at 4:51am. I won't get into everything just yet...I don't want to overwhelm, but soon I plan to write a post for Cooper's birth story, the story of our diagnosis, and of course some things involving the day-to-day. Those of you who know me know that I am never short on words so with that said--much more to come!